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Exposing Douchebags, Hipsters, and Pigs one at a time |
This one takes “always stand out in the crowd” a little too literally.
The outfit is one right out of the 80′s with the cut off denim vest on top of the denim ankle pants. He’s doing a little two step here as well. Very happy he was able to borrow a beanie from Cam’Ron.
This is another one of the Bridge and Tunnel female crowd. Do not be fooled by a tight booty and some sexy legs, because beneath that Mac Counter caked exterior is a lecherous demon who will have you changing her 3 kids’ diapers in no time.
In this Corner, weighing in at 120 lbs, We have The Douchebag White Guy.
In THIS Corner we have a 6’3″ Nubian King, just doing his job as a Bouncer outside of this local hotspot.
Guess who wins?
We have to give Little Mac some credit, as he keeps getting up. The Kid’s got balls.
His Name is Big Snacks, and I can’t even make it half way through this horrible train wreck of a song.
The over sized shirt thing is only around to stop fatso people from looking so fat, but im still making out the fully developed breasts. Also, if you look close there is a dinner plate sized indention on Big Snacks’ Mid section. That would be a gigantic belly button. Vile.
Triple Chins do not help you out when you are trying to prove how hard your “Guns Go Off” This guy loses his breath before he can get through even one stanza. Maybe he should run through a bridge and tunnel on his way to the Bakery (i mean.. Dance Club).
Every single rap lyric stereotype is covered here. Our buddy Snacks covers how he is “Hot in the Streets”, “Feeling like a Mac”, and “rolling down the street ready for beef”. Ding Dong. Easy E is rolling over in his grave. He also covers how his “game is hungry” And we all know what game that is.
No Everything Bagels? Ok Fine, Sesame.
Everything is calm. The guy may be taking his time to make the bagel, but its ok. Nobody is worried about wasted time or germs.
Then here comes Hero Sandwich. Flamboyantly strutting up to the counter with super hero long hair and a very aggressive attitude, this guy is asking for it. Is that a sparkly hair band? and Press on Nails? This Bridge and Tranny is hungry! No, they dont make sandwiches.
I applaud the store owners for not discriminating against this man and treating him as any idiot would be treated for acting like a moron.
As We all know. The Bridge and Tunnel Crowd is made up of both sexes. Males and females, bouncing to the latest LMFAO track at the Club, grinding into each other as they try to impress with drawn on eyebrows and Dragon Ball Z Hair Spikes.
I Believe this crab faced beaut is female, but i cannot say with %100 Certainty. We have some evidence, such as the oversized hoop earrings and the acid washed jeans. Although we can only call this circumstantial, our true evidence comes from the lips.
The DuckFace.
Our Friends over at antiduckface.com define the duckface better than we ever could.
you know, the pose where you push your mouth out in that sort of weird half-kissy-face to make it look like you’ve got big pouty lips, a super-defined jawline, and model-quality cheekbones?
This look has been plaguing the Social Networks and the Interwebz at large since early 2000 and it must be stopped.
The onslaught of ugly women making duck faces started with the Bridge and Tunnel Crowd, and their talon like grip on the world must be loosened, or soon we will all be with a lady who duckfaces.
That thought keeps me up at night…
We are big fans of tradition here at bridgeandtunnel.org so I would like to start some traditions here for my readers, so i bring you our very first Fight of the Week. Every week i will bring to you the very best (worst?) brawls, rumbles and skirmishes on the interwebz.
The BnT Rumble going on here is pretty elaborate. We have about 10-12 people fighting and swinging various weapons. Which for some reason are all household cleaning elements. Perhaps this brawl is over which bridge and tunnel swine can really claim Mr. Clean. Of course, since the average weight each fighter is about 300 pounds, i assume the fight is over the last Taco Bell Doritos Taco.
Notice the greasy behemoth in the shorts and black shirt. I have watched this video about 12 times and i still cannot figure out if this is a man or a woman. The outfit screams Y Chromosome, but the actions, and boobs, say that is a female.
#BnT
Fluffed Marshmallow flavored Vodka… And Smirnoff no less.
Let that roll around in your head a bit.
I can just picture the tight dressed single mothers ordering their Mallow flavored vodka while spending a weekend in Las Vegas with the Bridge and Tunnel hoard.
Who chooses this swill?
Which one to choose between these couple of beut’s ?
On one side you have a wildebeest wearing what appears to be caution tape over her ham hock arms and fat back. The grin on her face gives evidence that she has recently grazed, But is on the hunt for another kind of meat.
On the other side you have a sunken eyed Zombie. The feathered earrings speak to her native routes I’m sure, since she isn’t anywhere close to stripper hot. This leather faced slag is more weathered than The Flying Dutchman.
Be warned. The more you drink, the easier it will be for femslobs like these to sink their tepid talons into you.
Have you ever had the perfect Day?
Or the perfect meal?
Maybe the perfect apple, or plum, or slice of banana cream pie?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I Present to you The Perfect BnTer. This Man Personifies what we are all about on bridgeandtunnel.org. Exposing BnT even at its highest level of concentration.
Where to begin with this douchebag? Ah yes, the hair. Ronald McDonald would be proud of that pomp. Its SO Shiny too! He must use Soul Glo.
The handkerchief around the neck, check.
Hideous all over print T-Shirt, Check
Plug Earrings?! I thought this was the property of punk rockers and Iraq war vets who ignored rebelliousness trying to piss off their parents?
What a cute little pencil-stache. It looks like this “man” colored his upper lip with a fine tip Sharpie. I think he may have sharped the eyebrows with the same pen. Barf.
If you see this man, please tell him to go home.
